2008 Democratic Convention Soon To Be Upon Us

GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!

Oh. Wait. Wrong universe...

7:00 pm... Opening flag burning

7:15 pm... Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N. and All Hail to L.O.S.T.

7:20 pm... Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

7:25 pm... Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jessie
Jackson and Al Sharpton

7:45 pm... Ceremonial tree hugging

7:55 pm... Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:00 pm... How I Invented the Internet - Al Gore

8:15 pm... Salutary salute to the New Russian Federation of the North Pole

8:35 pm... Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:40 pm... Our Troops are War Criminals - John Kerry

9.00 pm... Clone Saddam Rally - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon

11.00 pm... Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:05 pm... Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney
transplant fund - Barbara Streisand

11:15 pm... Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo
Bay - Sean Penn

11:30 pm... Oval Office Affairs - William Jefferson Clinton

11:45 pm... Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:50 pm... How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade
Towers - Howard Dean

12:15 am... "Truth in Broadcasting Award" - Presented to Dan
Rather by Michael Moore

12:25 am... Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

12:30 am... Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

12:45 am... Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy
Pelosi

1:00 am... Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

1:05 am... Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton

1:30 am... Ted Kennedy propoes a toast

1:35 am... Bill Clinton asks Ted to drive Hillary home...