Muslim Facebook Boycott Protests 'koran toilet paper' was uttered and published 10/19/'09 in response to a threatened Muslim boycott of Facebook. The Muslims were demanding the deletion of a Facebook group "Koran Toilet Paper Roll". Posted at Freedom Ain't Free, it has received 532 page views, 9 of them on September 8.
I do not know how many page views it has received on my VOX blog, but recently it has been the most popular post. That post comes up #9 in the Google SERP. That post drew 17 of 70 page views to 10 p.m. today.
Just in case readers are looking for the literal product, I did a search for novelty tp.
- Just Toilet Paper does not offer Koran tp. They do offer custom printing.
KTPR was taken down by Facebook, briefly restored, and disappeared. It has been replaced by two smaller groups which are less active as well as less popular.
With the preliminaries out of the way, its time to get down to the serious stuff. The issue is not covered in the Qur'an, so we turn to the hadith. The fun starts in Sahih Bukhari 1.4.157 with a narration in which the Profit asks his companion to bring him three stones, but not bone or dung.
Sunan Abu Dawud 1.7 makes the prohibition explicit.
Narrated Salman al-Farsi:
It was said to Salman: Your Prophet teaches you everything, even about excrement. He replied: Yes. He has forbidden us to face the qiblah at the time of easing or urinating, and cleansing with right hand, and cleansing with less than three stones, or cleansing with dung or bone.
Why should Muslims be prohibited from wiping their butts with dried camel dung or old bones? Why would anyone consider using a piece of crap for that purpose? But that's beside the point. Moe has an answer for you.
Narrated Abdullah ibn Mas'ud:
A deputation of the jinn came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and said: O Muhammad, forbid your community to cleans themselves with a bone or dung or charcoal, for in them Allah has provided sustenance for us. So the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) forbade them to do so.
You thought jinn were mythical, didn't you? But Moe met with a delegation of jinn who told him that Allah provided bones and dried dung for them to eat. If they eat dried dung, whats the problem? They could just wait for the crap on the soiled items to dry.
The Prophet said to use three clean stones.
Narrated Khuzaymah ibn Thabit:
The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) was asked about cleansing (after relieving oneself). He said: (One should cleanse oneself) with three stones which should be free from dung.
But there's more; stones ain't enough, you should use water, too.
The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: The following verse was revealed in connection with the people of Quba': "In it are men who love to be purified" (ix.108). He (AbuHurayrah) said: They used to cleanse themselves with water after easing. So the verse was revealed in connection with them.
Ain't those great suggestions? But they are more than suggestions, they are law. Book e of Reliance of the Traveller contains the rules of ritual purity. This is not suitable for children or overly sensitive adults.
E9.1-3 instructs Muslims not to carry the Qur'an into the lavatory. E9.5 is explicit: you must not use any object that deserves respect or veneration. Since they do not consider translations to be sacred, for maximum offense (if that is the intention) you should desecrate an Arabic Qur'an. The problem with toilet paper is that it could be made from recycled Qur'ans.
The right hand prohibition has a cultural connection. Seventh century Arabs did not use eating utensils, they grabbed food out of common pots with their right hands. Amputating the right hand of a thief forces him to use his left hand for everything, which could introduces feces into the common pot. Perhaps that is why Risala (Maliki Fiqh) gives this instruction.