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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Sending The Leftinistra In Search of Shirley McClain's Life Line





I received this in my email and here it goes:

"Jesus does, however, send his support to Ms. Coulter." (see the bottom line)

Christ and Coulter
Friday, October 19, 2007 3:38 AM
By: Arturick
I'm an angry conservative forced to work with the increasingly ignorant public in and around the People's Republic of Chicago. I'm 30 years old and trying to get my life in gear after too many years of being a self-impressed liberal waiting for the proletariat to make me their leader because I'm so... special

I was raised a Catholic, lapsed from the faith during a dark time in my life where I wore a trenchcoat and steel-toed boots all the time, and returned to God later in life. Now, according to the typical atheist, my return to Christianity was the result of brain damage, a psychotic break, or a kidnapping in which a Cardinal brainwashed me into hating homosexuals. These were not among my reasons.

One day, it clicked in my head that the teachings of Jesus were simply correct. Jesus not only proposed an ideological vision that I consider the most intellectually and morally valid way to live your life, but he showed an understanding of how the human mind worked that remains relevant 2000 years later. I honestly believe that everyone should convert to Christianity.

So, you can imagine my amusement when Ann Coulter was burned in effigy for saying the same thing.

After reading a few articles on the latest Coultastrophe, I decided to have some real fun and look up various amateur Coulter-criticisms: feedback on Amazon.com, various blogs, etc. The most amusing accusation to appear several thousand times was that Ann Coulter has no business identifying herself as a Christian. These angry, presumably Christian liberals stated over and over that the teachings of Jesus could not possibly be compatible with the rhetoric of Coulter.

Well, for the purposes of public education, I've decided to explore the dark, seamy, Coulter-esque side of Jesus Christ...

Jesus, like Coulter, doesn't think the Jews have it right.

"For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 5:20

Jesus wasn't nice to those he thought to be corrupting his father's house, much as Coulter derides those she feels to be ruining our country. In fact, he attacked them and called them names.

"And they come to Jerusalem: and Jesus went into the temple, and began to cast out them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the money-changers, and the seats of them that sold doves; And would not suffer that any man should carry any vessel through the temple. And he taught, saying unto them, Is it not written, My house shall be called of all nations the house of prayer? but ye have made it a den of thieves." Mark 11:15-17 (That's pretty offensive stuff there.)

Ann's detractors in the media keep trying to darkly hint at the depravity of her personal life and the low quality of her associations. Jesus had the same public relations issues.

"The Son of man is come eating and drinking; and ye say, Behold a gluttonous man, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners." Luke 7:34

Have I mentioned that Jesus was often mean to people? Usually people in power? He might call a powerful community leader a raving, wicked fool, for example.

"And the Lord said unto him, Now do ye Pharisees make clean the outside of the cup and the platter; but your inward part is full of ravening and wickedness. Ye fools..." Luke 11:39-40

Jesus, unlike Coulter's targets, can handle things said about him.

"And whosoever shall speak a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him." Luke 12:10

Coulter, and the rest of the "right wing hate machine," are accused of dividing the country (because, well, having independent thought is criminal in the liberal world view). Surely, Jesus doesn't divide people...

"Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division: For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two and two against three." Luke 13:51-52

Jesus and Coulter encouraged their followers to invest in the armaments of the day.

"And he said unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one." Luke 22:36

Jesus and Coulter both have had issues with less than appreciative audiences. They respond by being mean.

"Jesus said unto them, If God were your Father, ye would love me: for I proceeded forth and came from God; neither came I of myself, but he sent me. Why do ye not understand my speech? even because ye cannot hear my word. Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it. And because I tell you the truth, ye believe me not." John 8:42-45

Well, surely Coulter should be respectful of other religions, right God?

"Thou shalt have no other gods before me." Exodus 20:3 (Guess not...)

Jesus does, however, send his support to Ms. Coulter.

"If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you." John 15:18
AMEN!!